People kept knocking into me so I got used to it. I knocked into an older gentleman and threw him off balance!

Sat at O'Hare airport for over an hour cause there was ice on the plane.

The pilot reminded me of Dave Chappelle when he does a white person imitation. I did not expect that man's voice to be like that. He looked like a shorter Kareem Abdul. "Okay, folks. We're going to fly this thing out of here." He would come over to my window by the wing and look out at the ice and do that Dave Chappelle sigh.

The guy that sat next to me started squirming and moved to the adjacent empty seat. He was crazy.

The guy in front of me was a dipshit too. He had his blutooth earpiece on he was talking on his phone and they told him he had to turn it off. He just turned his head and continued talking to try and hide it from the stewardess... so he basically looked like a dipshit talking to an invisible man sitting next to him. "Yeah, they want us to turn them off. They don't know I'm talking to you right now..."

Some old lady started bitching in Portuguese.

As we took off, some dumb bitch blurted out, "OH MY GOD! ISN'T THERE JUST GOING TO BE MORE ICE ON THE PLANE!?" That's when I wished there was an air marshall there to taze somebody.

There was an old cowboy that was wearing a neck pillow and sleeping like a contortionist across the aisle form me.

The pilot came on and said, "Alright everyone, we are about to land so everybody needs to buckle their seatbelts, and shut off their electrical devices." So the blutooth genius in front of me kept on typing on his laptop, unbuckled his seat belt, and went to the restroom. I hope he peed all over himself.

It was all AWESOME.